The line of mopes wraps around the warehouse hidden in the Valley’s North Hollywood. It moves, I take a step. These men are not the chiseled, two-hundred pound studs with eight-inch-plus penises of the A-list. They will never get the call to work with even passable looking woman in a scene for a mid-tier studio, [...]
I’m Tiger Woods, Bitches.
Posted By Tyler Knight on December 7th, 2009
Copy and pasted only the text from AVN Magazine’s site. (I know it’s funny, but I keep the blog porn-pic free.)
Adam & Eve to Shoot Tiger’s Wood
Tyler Knight to play ‘Tiger’ in parody
Posted Dec 7th 2009 02:25PM by Wade Garrett
LOS ANGELES—Adam & Eve Pictures on Monday revealed it is shooting a XXX movie about embattled golf superstar Tiger Woods and his numerous liaisons, entitled Tiger’s Wood.
Directed by David Lord and starring adult performer Tyler Knight as “Tiger” and Kayden Kross as his long-suffering wife, Adam & Eve said the tongue-in-cheek flick should hit stores within eight weeks.
“Tyler Knight is the only actor who could play this part,” Lord said. “I thought of him immediately when we were writing the script. Once Tyler signed on, everything immediately fell into place.”
“With the popularity of adult parody films as well as celebrity scandal, this project is a natural,” said Meredith Christopher, executive producer for Adam & Eve Pictures. “Every day, there seems to be some new development or girlfriend exposed, and it really has captured the attention of the public. That’s what we want to focus on with Tiger’s Wood.”
This fun, sexy romp will focus on “Tiger” and his multiple mistresses and give audiences a chance to see Adam & Eve’s interpretation of events in X-rated detail.
“This really is a story that has captured America’s attention,” continues Christopher. “We’re excited to bring it to the public in such a short amount of time… and we may have another release depending on what happens the near future.”
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Comments 36
i’m not saying what tiger did was right or wrong but as a black man i’m gonna stick by my people through the thick and thin. if you wanna be an uncle tom and sellout your people, go ahead and make that money. and i’m only on this site because some one posted your link on a sports message board.
^ Troll alert.
Anyway, sounds hilarious.
an angry black guy,
A black man calling another black man an “Uncle Tom” on a public forum is no different than black people calling each other “nigger” or “nigga” on a public forum and then complaining when non-black people use those words.
Regardless of how you may feel about the parody, and I respect your opinion, understand that calling another black person an “Uncle Tom” was extraordinarily poor judgement because whenever we use those words (in public) it gives permision for others (non blacks) to use them.
Which is funny becuase for someone whose point is racial sensitivity, your word choice serves to undercut your very argument at the knees.
Regards,
Tyler
Congrats on the part Tyler,
the movie was just plugged on Howard Stern.
Sounds like its gonna be good.
I think its gonna be a hit!
Fuck, Kayden is absolutely amazing, and that’s an understatement
angry black guy, why don’t you go and find a good mood and ride it hard!
[...] President blogged, “I’m Tiger Woods, [...]
[...] Tyler blogged, “I’m Tiger Woods, [...]
congrats on the role. please make it a good one.
With money you get, you’ll be able to buy you’re self non stop ticket to hell.
“Lust has as its focus pleasing oneself, and it often leads to unwholesome actions to fulfill one’s desires with no regard to the consequences. Lust is about possession and greed. The Christian faith is about selflessness and is marked by holy living (Romans 6:19, 12:1-2; 1 Corinthians 1:2, 30, 6:19-20; Ephesians 1:4, 4:24; Colossians 3:12; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, 5:23; 2 Timothy 1:9; Hebrews 12:14; 1 Peter 1:15-16). The goal of each person who has put his/her faith in Jesus Christ is to become more and more like Him each day. This means putting off the old way of life of which sin was in control, and conforming one’s thoughts and actions to the standard put forth in Scripture. Lust is in opposition to this ideal.”
About a week ago, before the rest of his play dates started seeping into the warm spotlight of media attention, I was all like, “Leave the poor man alone and let him work this out with his wife in private.” But now that it’s come to light that he’s such a boner-fied man-ho, all bets are off.
So, this morning when I caught the headline in the Huffington Post that you were ‘tapped’ (and I use that term with some playfulness) to star in “Tiger’s Wood”, it put a huge smile on my face, because it seems like my mind is forever concocting a good porn title. So, and this is free of charge, I’ll give you the sequel to pitch, based on the breakfast drink I grew up on in the 70′s and the current nutrition bar…”Tiger’s Milk”.
BTW, great writing. Keep it up! Never heard of you till this morning, but I think you’re doing the lord’s work.
(Actually, that was sort of a passive aggressive comment on Christian’s Dec 11 comment…WTF?)
[...] Tyler blogged, “I’m Tiger Woods, [...]
tiger woods the playa thats whats up big up to tiger woods boning all those chicks. you people are haters you wish you were in his shoes. big up to tyler two boning all those chicks and getting paid. holla bklyn in the house we keep it real
Christian,
You can replace Shatner as the pitch man for Priceline.com — that is unless you are not without sin, then get a buddy pass. I get the aisle seat though.
-Tyler
get those tricks Tiger! We still love ya!
I think that it was funny enough to blog about. I don’t know about being a sell-out, but you know what the man does for a living…basically, get paid T, do your thing. I aint mad at ya taking advantage of opportunties, but you gotta get some better looking broads (for the video) than some of the chickenheads Tiger was chopping down…
2 to 1 that you will end up beating the brakes off one the cluckers, since the money is out there for them.
Tiger, is it true that you won’t be working with Kayden Knight? she said herself in an interview that she won’t be working with her “husband”, i think it’s very misleading to say she will play tiger’s wife if she won’t be working with you, what kind of a movie is that? she won’t work with her own husband?, very racist too, if it was a white guy i’m sure she would work with her “husband” , she said it’s because they want to keep a realistic scenario, realistic? a wife who doesn’t have sex with her husband, how realistic is that?, she should be honest and just say she won’t be working with her husband because he’s black, this movie will be the biggest bullshit in history, they should at lest use a girl who doesn’t have problems doing interracial.
congrats bro, but i think they could really get another girl to play tiger’s wife.
Sorry i mean you won’t be working with “Kayden kross” not “night” lol.
Tiger,,,can’t wait to see ya playing your next golf tournament! The whole planet will be watching ya! All the TV and media bullcrap has made ya in an strange way a bigger world “SUPER STAR”. Companies will beg ya to sign contracts . And don’t worry you’ll be single and that time go for 100 Girlfriends and more porno stars. Tiger,don’t worry what people say,they don’t pay yours bills, Enjoy your LIFE!
Screw them all!! You know they love it dirty!! Just do it!
Kayden Kross please try some interracial. Com’on these are the times of the Obamas. Open up, a little interracial won’t hurt you. Black inside will make you look so pretty. Forget the skinny little white boys. Forget small Lee Stone, ugly Billy Glide or overrated Evan. Look at Tiger’s Hos, all white, there must be a reason why?
Kayden baby look at Sasha Grey and Jenna Haze, nuts about black juice. They can’t be wrong.
My dream interracial orgy movie : Tyler Knight,Lexington Steele,Jake Steed, Sasha Grey, Jenna Haze and Kayden Cross.
Tiger says “Once Ya Go Asiack ( Black Asian ) Ya Neva Go Back”
For the “angry black man,” why do blacks have to stick by blacks. That just brings the black world down to the level of the scummiest blacks. How about you not stick by anyone of any color who is behaving like a turd. Show some character. And is anyone honest enough to notice that obama is nothing more than an angry black man, too? Get real (for a change).
I think the movie will be great fun. Good luck with it.
r u going to fuck kayden also..
Yes, because not being sexually interested in a person of a different race automatically makes one a racist. You people are fucking idiots. What would be the point of Kayden Kross working with Tyler and making a mediocre, awkward scene?
“What would be the point of Kayden Kross working with Tyler and making a mediocre, awkward scene?”
first off, that’s got nothing to do with porn, Kayden Kross is not attracted to the guys she works with anyway, only a naive person like yourself would believe porn actresses are attracted to thee guys they work with, second, yes, having her work with Tyler would actually save the movie, the movie will be completely mediocre if they don’t have sex.
I’ma say this one time and one time only so don’t anybody get your ass on your back and try to start an argument.
While I may or may not condone what this gentleman does for a living, I will say this.
I’d rather him do what he does than sell poison and guns on the streets to children.
I’ve read poetry on here and it is excellent. I’ve read short stories on here and they are excellent, and I can’t wait to read more.
As to the trolls that come here like the so called Christian I say this to you.
“Hear the good news!
Who is in a position to condemn?
Only Christ,
and Christ died for us,
Christ rose for us,
Christ reigns in power for us,
Christ prays for us.
Anyone who is in Christ
is a new creation.
The old life has gone;
a new life has begun.”
YOU AIN’T CHRIST so take your sanctimonious BS somewhere else. Not up to you to condem this gentleman so you don’t like what he does….don’t look at his page or his product.
(getting off my soapbox now)
tiger woods yall. fatality… mortal combat baby
Kayden I beg you dont do interracial most guys might not say it but there is less respect thats the reason goin black you dont go back your to hot
Who in their right mind would be begging any of these girls to do “ir?” I mean really, support the ones that do like Bree, Tori, Lisa, Jena. Many more girls will be coming into the biz and doing “ir.” Girls like Kayden are over-rated. That is why Tori slammed on them all. Tori is the future, kayden is the past.
Ben, have a quick look at the top 20 freeones, almost all of them do “ir,” or either ethnic. Kayden is not even in the top 20, and NEVER will be. The girls who are respected most and the most popular in the world of porn are the ones who are doing “ir.”
P.S.
I dont want to see Kayden do “ir” either, too many girls that i cant even keep up with now.
kayden overrated??? are you blind stupids,, jenna , tori ,, they are ugly and cannot reach kayden’s beauty, you must be fool or blind to think that kayden is overrated noo
All ya boys is bitches.. so shut the fuck up!
You a bitch dick head! Who are you?
Who is this bitch think he is?
Ya’ll whining like little bitchy girls… Shut up!
This guy is crazy!! I’m not blogging here anymore.. Goodby!
Calling other black men uncle toms for not sticking by Tiger is just ignorant when, come to think of it, Tiger is an uncle tom himself …
Kayden Kross will never be as popular as Tori Black. I’m not buying anything Kayden does.